Several
years ago, when I lived in an apartment in Hollywood, I encountered
the two most geographically challenged people in the entire world.
They were not just lost, in the sense that they had missed a turn,
they were lost in a way that you may not believe. This is an absolutely
true story. Let me explain....
On Sunday mornings,
I very much enjoyed taking my two dogs for a nice stroll through
Runyon Canyon. Since I lived fairly close to Runyon Canyon at
that time it was only about a five minute walk to the entrance,
and after about an hour walking through the trail, we would wander
home and the dogs would sleep for the rest of the day. Bliss.
On this particular
Sunday morning, the dogs and I were on our way home, nearing the
intersection of Sunset Blvd and La Brea Avenue. I happened to
notice a car pull over and ask a pedestrian a question. The pedestrian
walked away quickly, shaking his head in disbelief. I have an
ability to attract the weird and the wonderful to me, so I knew
it would only be a matter of time before the car would pull over
in my direction. Sure enough, the car pulled over and a lady in
the passenger seat waved at me.
"Excuse me"
she called out to me with a familar accent - she was British just
like me - what could be wrong?
"That's a familiar
accent", I smiled at her "What seems to be the problem?"
"Oh Gary, she's
English", she said excitedly to the driver of the car. (His
name was not really Gary, I have changed their names to protect
their stupidity).
"Hi, I'm Janet.
Can you help us, we are really lost", she said. "You
see that sign over there, the Hollywood sign?"
"Yes," I
replied, "I'm familiar with the sign."
"Well we have
been driving around and around it for an hour now, and we can't
locate the side of the hill where the Presidents faces are carved."
