Proof That The World Is Nuts

In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.

(Like THAT makes sense.)

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In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.

(Do they look different reversed?)

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Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.

(A brick?)

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The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.

(Much worse than "going blind!")

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There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time
Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.

(Let's just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)

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In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but she may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.

(Ah! Justice!)

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Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in tropical fish stores.

(But of course!)

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In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.

(Ugh! Makes one shudder at the thought.)

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In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.

(Was this a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)

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In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises."

(Is the US a great country or what? Well, not as great as Guam!)

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Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

(Who volunteers for this stuff?)

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Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

(Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)

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The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight, and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

(From drinking little bottles of...Bud Light (see above entry)?)

(Did the government pay for this research??)

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Butterflies taste with their feet.

(Ah, geez!)

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An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

(I know some people like that.)

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Starfish don't have brains.

(I know some people like that, too.)

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And, the best for last?

Turtles can breathe through their butts.

(And I thought I had bad breath in the morning!)

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Sent to me by my buddy, Mike Willett, who sells fine, healthy, gourmet food products online. Click the title of this entry to visit his web site.

Billie Holiday: "Fine and Mellow"

Your watching "The Sound of Jazz," which aired on CBS television on Sunday, December 8, 1957, one of the few times that network television has acknowledged jazz.

Billie was accompanied by the Mal Waldron All-Stars: Lester Young, Coleman Hawkins, and Ben Webster (tenor saxes); Gerry Mulligan (baritone sax); Roy Eldridge, Doc Cheatham (trumpets); Vic Dickenson (trombone); Mal Waldron (piano); Jim Atlas (bass); Danny Barker (guitar); and Jo Jones (drums). Watch how Billy beams when Lester Young solos!

This video reminds me of a good friend of mine whom I knew in Chicago during the 1970s and 1980s: M.W. Newman. He was simply "Bill" to his friends, and he had many. Bill was editor of Panorama, the Chicago Daily News Saturday Magazine. He liked an article about jazz I submitted and invited me to join him for lunch at the Chicago Press Club.

Bill resembled his brother, Edwin, who was much better known because of his 35-year career as a journalist for NBC television. Both of them graduated from the Unversity of Wisconsin and became distinguished journalists.

Thanks to Bill, I contributed a number of articles to Panorama. When the Chicago Daily News folded in 1978, Bill and many of his Daily News colleagues went to work for the Chicago Sun-Times. I then wrote freelance articles for the Sun-Times.

Bill told me how much he enjoyed hearing Billie Holiday sing in person in New York City in the late 1940s and early 1950s. He said she always mesmerized the men in her audiences. "She was the best," Bill said, "the best."

And so was Bill Newman, who died in October 2001 at the age of 84.

The late Chicago newspaper columnist Mike Royko often called Bill "simply the greatest newspaper writer of his time." Mike was right.

George Spink
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