Hollywood Squares

If you remember the Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this may bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from the days when "Hollywood Squares" game show responses were spontaneous and clever, not scripted and (often) dull, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh

For more about the Hollywood Squares, just click the title of this entry.

George Spink
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Sept. 11th - A Day That Will Live In Infamy

I learned about the Sept. 11th Attack on America right after I woke up that morning, about 6 a.m. Pacific Daylight Time. Instead of turning on the TV, as I usually do, I turned on my computer first and looked at my emails.

The first one I opened was from a friend in Lincoln, England. "I'm so sorry for what has happened to New York." Then I opened one from another English friend, who lives in Cornwall. "We will always stand with you, George," he wrote." I didn't know what they were talking about.

Then I turned on my TV -- and I knew immediately what they meant.

How in the hell could the United States be attacked? Where was our so-called "Star Wars" defense that President Reagan was always talking about? What about the billions and billions of dollars we spend each year on defense? And where the hell was President Bush?

At first, the reporters didn't know where he was. In fact, it took some time to learn his whereabouts. Comforting!

Then I heard about a third plane crashing into the Pentagon and a fourth plain crashing into a field in Pennsylvania, presumably diverted from hitting the White House or Congress. How could this be happening?

Five years later, I still ask myself these questions. Government spokesmen say proudly that the steps the Bush White House has taken during the past five years have stopped us from being attacked again. I'm glad they have, but what about the next time someone tries, or the time after that, and so on...?

If you wish to see an incredible display of 9/11 photos, click on the title of this entry.

Where was President Bush?

If you wish to see an incredible display 12/7 photos, just watch this slideshow; we know where President Roosevelt was.